How can you love a person you hardly know?
Love is a choice.
Even Jesus, the human who loved me so much – the one who gave his life for me – he knew me first. My heart’s deepest desire. My motivation. My passion.
The universe had conceived me before it loved me.
Its not a mother’s love, one that can love without knowing.
It’s not a father’s love, one that loves through affection of a woman.
Only a child’s love would be so pure, so free –
Not expecting anything in return for full pursuit of relationship.
Only a child would fall so obliviously.
So here is the dilemma: my heart’s desire is to be cared for, nurtured, stretched and grown. Can these needs be met by a child’s love?
The answer is no.
These needs can only be met by one love. My first love.
See I forgot one MAJOR part of the equation.
Amnesia captured my mind in a moment of passion.
I gave in to the king’s disgusting food, and now I feel sick.
I put on the character of the vulnerable, and I am consumed with shame.
How long will I be so forgetful? How long will I fail to practice what I have learned?
I remember he told me I could receive grace.
Another chance to embrace perfect love, eternal love.
The One who IS. The spirit of truth. Today I choose you. Because today is again new.
Exactly what I don’t deserve, and exactly what can make desperation into regeneration.
Death into life.
Born again into an original awakening. Unordinary experience.