Introspective. There is a whole new dimension of life I never knew about, and it scares me.
Last night I came to a point where I didnt know who I was, where I came from or why I was doing what I was doing. Memory erased, I couldnt break through. This may be one of the worst things anyone can experience. Not knowing reality from fantasy. Not knowing anything.
Its been like this all day. I wonder why I made the choice to start seeing him. I wonder why I put myself through all this nonsense, because deep down inside, I know it has to end.
More than all of that though, I worry that this introspection wont end. I cant come down. I have no more answers. I feel afloat in the atmosphere, like Im playing a role someone wrote in a play.
No. I write my own story. I decide what happens to me. Life is just really scary right now. I hate taking risk. And yet the most happiness can come from putting yourself all out there.
Vulnerable. Frightened, and vulnerable.