Life Loving Jesus

You know the feeling when you see those red and blue flashing lights you see in your rear-view mirror?

That sick, let down feeling you know you made for yourself.

Well have you ever seen those lights and felt invincible? I have. And not in a good way. Wreaking of alcohol I’m sure, the officer asked me to step out of my vehicle. I dont remember how long it was until he asked me to put my hands behind my back, and next thing I know, I’m sitting in the back of the police car trying to get out. I got out of my handcuffs, but to no avail.

There are no door handles. Trapped.

They took me to drunkie town, a parking lot with two trailers and a long table. The officer read me things, told me things, I dont even remember. Then they took my blood. They took my mugshot. My fingerprints.

After what seemed like an eternity, 4am rolled around and they put me in a taxi. But having no money, (ironic because my halloween costume was GaGa from “Beautiful Dirty Rich”) I started to walk. Walking down the main boulevard at 4am in a body suit, crying like a hot mess is not conducive to not being safe. After half an hour of walking, and about three more hours to go, a taxi driver offered me to ride for free. Never have I been more lucky. If you could even say that.

I think embarrassed is the best way for me to describe my disposition at the moment.

Ashamed.

Just plain stupid.

A damn shame I had to learn the hard way.

But I sure learned. If that one night of embarrassment was all that was going to happen to me, I would have still learned.

My wrists hurt from the handcuffs, my feet hurt from walking for so long, my eyes hurt from crying. My heart hurts from having to tell my parents, my pride hurts from having to tell everyone else. My bank account hurts from the fines that are to come, and my brain hurts from the mental anguish I have put myself through since this all happened.

I think that this will be good for me in the end though. If it makes me more responsible, more careful than good will have come from a not so ideal situation. My first arrest was not how I imagined it, but at least its a situation I can learn from.